we will be flying to Ethiopia to meet our son Jonah Tyler. I feel very under prepared for this trip in many ways. Emotionally I am struggling to come to terms with all of the feelings swirling around in my heart. I am worried about traveling half way around the world without my kids. I am excited about meeting Jonah and getting to hold him after eleven months of looking at his picture. I am heartbroken that I will have to leave him there for another month before he can come home. I am anxious about getting everything done before we leave.
Tonight I mostly feel humbled and broken before my Savior. After we lost Elijah my anger towards God was so big I could not bring myself to even talk to Him. And now as I sit here five days away from seeing Jonah, I am overcome by God's grace and love for me. That He would continue to love me despite my small understanding of His greatness leaves me breathless.
This last week I have been blessed by Micah and Hannah. They are the two most amazing children. As I am preparing to leave for our trip, they too are preparing for us to be gone. Hannah has started acting out a bit in the last couple of days, as if going back to a time when she was unsure of my love for her. Micah is again becoming the parent. He is more helpful and independent than I have seen in a long while. I can see them getting their hearts ready for us to be gone. Their old defenses that served them well in the orphanage are surfacing again. I am thankful for the awareness of their instincts so that I am able to look past all of it and give them the love they need right now.
We would all appreciate your prayers as we embark on our journey to bring Jonah Tyler home.
