Thursday, December 23, 2010

Joy Amid the Sorrow

As we were catching up on our Advent Calendar tonight God reminded me about a little thing called Joy. The devotional talked about lighting the candle tonight to remember the Joy that it is almost Jesus' birthday. When Jesus was born, Joy came back into our world. It may sound easy to be Joyful in ALL things, it most definitely is not! In the midst of tragedy it is hard to remember that we live for the promise of heaven.

This week I have had a hard time being joyful. As I mentioned briefly in my last post, there are some issues with the US Embassy in Ethiopia approving families for Embassy dates. Essentially all adoptions in Ethiopia have come to a standstill because the US Embassy has changed their paperwork requirements. They are now requiring more detailed documentation about how the children came into the custody of the original orphanage. To get the necessary paperwork agencies have to go back to the small towns all over Ethiopia where most of the orphanages are and get more documentation. We were praying that Jonah would not be part of that requirement. On Wednesday we found out they are requesting more details about his case as well. Now we are relying on the local officials in a town several hours from the capital city to get the documents we need.

I have a number of fears rising up in my heart. So, today I decided that rather than dwell in fear I would live in JOY! We had an amazing day preparing for Christmas as a family. Hannah and I spent time at the horse barn riding Coppertop, which always puts me in a good mood. I worked on organizing Jonah's room and washed his clothes in an effort to remind myself that he is coming home. I am also going to print out his birth certificate and put it on the fridge so I can see the proof that yes he is ours.

Continue to pray that he will be home with us soon and our hearts will be filled with Joy as we wait.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

God is bigger than the Boogie Man

I have struggled with anxiety my whole life. I worry about everything from feeling inadequate as a mom, wife, daughter, and professional to fearing a tragedy will take away someone I love. My anxiety peaked on August 7th, 2009 when I learned that I was going to die if I did not deliver an under developed Elijah. At that moment I told the doctor, do whatever you have to my kids at home cannot lose another mom. That is the only day I can recall that the peace of God coming upon me as intensely and immediately that all anxiety left my body.

The past two weeks I have been reminding myself over and over that yes God is Bigger than the Boogie Man in hopes that the anxiety will lessen. I flew to San Diego two weeks ago after buying a plane ticket an hour before the flight was departing because my Grandfather was in the ICU. After my week long stay my grandfather improved enough to get out of ICU, he is still in the hospital due to surgical complications. Four days after getting back home I got sick. After four doctors appts and a trip to the ER I am starting to feel better six days later. In the midst of this chaos I have been finishing finals.

Today while checking blogs I saw that two of the families from our agency, CWA, have been told they will not be traveling next week for their Embassy appointments. The US Embassy has required more paperwork from the original orphanage. It is unclear when they will get this paperwork and therefore when these families will be able to go get their kids. I can feel my anxiety rising as I write this...just remember "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man."

Here are my updated prayer requests:

1. God to take away my anxiety.
2. We will get an Embassy Date of Jan 11, 2011
3. Healing for my Grandfather and peace for my Mom.
4. For the other families with kids waiting for them in ET that they will travel to go get them soon.
5. Micah and Hannah will be reminded of our love for them.

Thank you!

Monday, December 13, 2010

He is ours and waiting in Ethiopia

Well it is official. As of November 24th Jonah Tyler Agegnehu Kneeshaw is ours!!!! YAY!!! We are super excited about having a baby boy in the family. However we had to leave him in Ethiopia to await our Embassy Date.

Many of you ask why we couldn't just bring him home. Here is why:

1. He needs a Birth Certificate to prove we are his parents. This is issued by Ethiopia. We are praying CWAE receives this soon.
2. Next he needs a passport...not a US one but an Ethiopian passport so he can leave Ethiopia and get into the US. This usually comes a couple days after his birth certificate.
3. He needs another physical and TB test.
4. All of the above documentation is submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia.
5. We get a date to appear in front of the US Embassy. Our agency has dates every other Tuesday.

We have found out that we will not have the next available date of Dec 28th. While we are bummed about this, we are a little relieved that we won't be away from Micah and Hannah on Christmas. Plus airline tickets are super expensive right now so waiting until January will save us some money.

Prayer Requests:

1. Jonah Tyler's birth certificate arrives at the CWAE offices soon.
2. Our US Embassy Date will be on Jan 11th (1/11/11=a cool date :))
3. Jonah Tyler will be safe and healthy while he waits for us to come get him.

Here are some pictures of our little guy. The first one is one of the first pictures we saw of him almost a year ago when he was six months old.


"Hurry up! I'm bored!"

He is excited about coming home soon.

Monday, November 15, 2010

In just five days....

we will be flying to Ethiopia to meet our son Jonah Tyler. I feel very under prepared for this trip in many ways. Emotionally I am struggling to come to terms with all of the feelings swirling around in my heart. I am worried about traveling half way around the world without my kids. I am excited about meeting Jonah and getting to hold him after eleven months of looking at his picture. I am heartbroken that I will have to leave him there for another month before he can come home. I am anxious about getting everything done before we leave.

Tonight I mostly feel humbled and broken before my Savior. After we lost Elijah my anger towards God was so big I could not bring myself to even talk to Him. And now as I sit here five days away from seeing Jonah, I am overcome by God's grace and love for me. That He would continue to love me despite my small understanding of His greatness leaves me breathless.

This last week I have been blessed by Micah and Hannah. They are the two most amazing children. As I am preparing to leave for our trip, they too are preparing for us to be gone. Hannah has started acting out a bit in the last couple of days, as if going back to a time when she was unsure of my love for her. Micah is again becoming the parent. He is more helpful and independent than I have seen in a long while. I can see them getting their hearts ready for us to be gone. Their old defenses that served them well in the orphanage are surfacing again. I am thankful for the awareness of their instincts so that I am able to look past all of it and give them the love they need right now.

We would all appreciate your prayers as we embark on our journey to bring Jonah Tyler home.

Monday, October 18, 2010

A New Creation

I love Fall. It is one of my favorite things about living in Tennessee. Driving down the road seeing all of the fall colors is breath taking to this southern California girl who never saw a change of seasons. Although it is beautiful it makes me a little sad to know that colder weather is coming and all the trees will soon be bare.
Fall reminds me of how Micah and Hannah have changed so much in the last three years. Like Fall I enjoy watching them learn new things and have new experiences, but it always makes me kinda sad that their old ways are gone. I often tell my friends that the first Christmas our kids were home I cried a lot. I hated the change that had occurred in them in just four months. In Ethiopia they were so thankful for a bouncy ball, but in America they were overcome by the gimmes searching out the next present to open. I wish they still spoke Amharic, fit in their cute traditional clothes, and were fascinated with light switches. Now they are truly Americanized. They love to watch TV, play Wii, and shop for new things. It seems that the bright leaves of Fall leave just as quickly as they came. Micah and Hannah came to us quicker than we expected, now their childhood is moving just as quickly. If I look closely I can still see remnants of Ethiopia in them such as their love of playing outside, eating Ethiopian food, and their incredible bond with one another. I miss who they were when we first met, but now I treasure who God is growing them to be.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Help an Orphan!!!


Bracelets are hand made using Ethiopian beads. Each bracelet is $20. Proceeds go directly into our adoption travel account! There are two ways to order a bracelet:

1) Click on the “DONATE” button in the right sidebar. The DONATE button takes you to pay through paypal. MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT SIZE BRACELET (SM, M, or L) AND YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN MAIL IT TO YOU!

2) Checks or cash – If you’re local, just leave a comment and let me know your size, and I’ll meet with you to make the exchange!

Remember each donation gets us closer to bringing Baby Jonah home! Thank you!

Email me with any questions at stacey@kkneeshaw.com

Money

A couple weeks ago I got on a new kick probably because travel to Ethiopia is looming before us. I am more motivated than I have been in my married life to figure out how to greatly reduce our spending. It is my new obsession. How do you save money? has been the topic of conversation between me and friends for the past several weeks now. I have been learning a lot and wanting to share the knowledge I have acquired.

There are extremes to this concept that I embraced last weekend after having several glasses of wine. One that I was ready to do was to go dumpster diving at the grocery store by our house. Oprah had a group of people on her show that did this weekly around the Chicago area. They had tons of unopened food that they recovered from the trash behind the stores. This grossed my husband out, so we haven't done it...yet. However, if anyone sees my car parked behind Kroger late at night come join me and score some free food.

A little less extreme is the pact I made with myself to not buy any new clothes until September 1, 2011. This idea came from The Great American Apparel Diet. As well as the feeling I get when I walk into my huge closet and see all my clothes and I think of those with so little. The worst part is I often think to myself, "I have nothing to wear." I shop to fulfill my desire to have more stuff...which only leaves me wanting more when the high from the last shopping trip has worn off. I have already found myself wearing things that have been lost in my closet for the last couple years. Total yearly savings $1000.

It may come as a shock to some of you to know that I have a lot of grey hair. Because of this every 6 to 8 weeks I spend $150 to get my hair cut and colored. My new perspective has shown me how insane this is. I will begin coloring my own hair and plucking my eye brows the next time my grey hair makes an appearance. Total yearly savings $1200.

I have lots more ideas that I will be putting into place soon.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ethiopian Bracelets


Bracelets are hand made using Ethiopian beads. Each bracelet is $20. Proceeds go directly into our adoption travel account! There are two ways to order a bracelet:

1) Click on the “DONATE” button in the right sidebar. The DONATE button takes you to pay through paypal. MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT SIZE BRACELET (SM, M, or L) AND YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN MAIL IT TO YOU!

2) Checks or cash – If you’re local, just leave a comment and let me know your size, and I’ll meet with you to make the exchange!

Remember each donation gets us closer to bringing Baby Jonah home! Thank you!

Email me with any questions at stacey@kkneeshaw.com

Friday, August 20, 2010

92 days

In 92 days we will get to hold Jonah in our arms for a few treasured hours. Yesterday God placed it on my heart to call our social worker at CWA to see when we could expect to hear about a court date for this fall. I left a message and waited for him to call back to tell me to remain patient. When he called a couple hours later as I was driving to get Micah from school. (Hannah was at home with Kurt after having some dental work done that morning) Our social worker said "It's funny you should call because I was going to call you today." He had the great news that we have a court date for our baby boy. It is on November 24th, the day before Thanksgiving! We will get to meet him for the first time two days prior to that and spend a short amount of time with him. We are thrilled to have a date already. Considering we found out two weeks before we traveled to meet Micah and Hannah, having three months to plan is a luxury in international adoption. We are so grateful to God for this unexpected news.

The goal in the next 92 days is to raise $5000 to cover some of our travel costs. Keep checking back for details, or if you feel led to send a donation to us send me a message.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Court Closure

Our paperwork was submitted to court the week before it closed. We were hoping to hear about a date for October so we could start planning our travel, we didn't. Ethiopian courts are closed from August 6th through September. For me this is the hardest part of an adoption, when it's all out of our hands and we just have to wait. The courts reopen Sept 28th. Hopefully shortly after that we will get a court date! Pray for the beginning of October.

Some good news is that we got new pictures of Jonah Tyler today. He is so adorable, the cutest baby ever!!! Once we pass court he will legally be ours and we can post pictures of him, cannot wait to share his smile with all of you.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Three years later

It is no secret that I have STRUGGLED big time with Hannah's hair. I have gone through phases where I love to do it but most the time it stresses me out! It sounds silly I know, how could a little girls hair be difficult? Miss Hannah has so much hair that it does not fit under her bike or horse back riding helmet when it is down. After she has gone swimming, nearly everyday in the summer, it is impossible to comb through even after applying a good conditioner. I have tried to stay in the routine of putting it up in a cute way every Sunday night after a good wash, by Wednesday the cute hair style I spent an hour is gone.

I am not a frilly kind of girl. I have straight hair that requires very little time to do, never learned how to french braid, and my styling products consist of a can of hair spray. I have been maintaining for the past three years when it comes to Hannah's hair. I look at pictures online, get product recommendations from my African American friends, and look at the ethnic hair section every time I walk into Target. Finally last week I found the best blog EVER!!! It is called Happy Girl Hair www.happygirlhair.com/
While my wonderful husband made dinner I sat Hannah down and began to do loose corn rows to prevent hair breakage. I am proud to report after a week filled with horseback riding, swimming, and playing outside it still looks cute!!!!


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Getting excited

Now that our Dossier is safely in the hands of the Christian World Adoption Ethiopian office we are getting more excited about bringing home our baby boy. Last weekend I bought the cutest bedding set for him. It is the Santa Barbara collection from Pottery Barn Kids, just like Micah and Hannah their little brother will love the beach! Later today we are going to start getting all the odds and ends out of his room so we can paint it this week. Currently his room is home to our ironing board, the kids' computer, and Hannah's desk. Pictures will be coming.

We have a name chosen for him, Jonah Tyler, followed by his Ethiopian name which we can still not disclose. We chose Jonah because it follows the "ah" theme we have going with each of our kids' names and we also like the meaning of it. Jonah means "peace" which is fitting for this time in our lives when we are still struggling to find peace after losing Elijah last August. Tyler is my little brother's name. Tyler shares a special connection with our kids because they were all internationally adopted, plus Micah and Hannah adore him just as I know Jonah will. Hopefully everything will move faster than we expect it to and we'll have him home soon.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dossier-check

Our Dossier has left us and is on it's way to Ethiopia. It has several stops to make. First it will be going to our courier service in Washington D.C. then it will be authenticated (a process that makes it legal in other countries as well as here). Next to the Ethiopian Embassy, they do something to it-not sure what. After it's week long trip in D.C. it will be mailed to our Agency in North Carolina. They will review it and abroad it will go. After it's long flight over the Atlantic it will be translated into Amharic (the language Micah and Hannah used to know but have now forgotten). Then it will go before the judge as evidence that we are the perfect family for our Aggie. Once the judge says yes, it can go to sleep in a file somewhere in Ethiopia, it will be very tired.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Adoption Update

Many people have asked us how our adoption is going so here it is:
4/19/10-We are sending our application to US Immigration to get approval to bring an orphan into the country. It usually takes about 6 weeks to approval.

By the end of April-We hope to have all of our legal paperwork (Dossier) ready to send to our agency. Along with this comes a fee of over $10,000. (Not quite sure where it is all going to come from, so buy T-shirts to help us out)

Currently we are applying for grants but they take a while to process and get approved.

The most recent update on how our "Aggie" is doing:
No major medical issues lately but he does have some very serious special needs that will impact him for the rest of his life. We found out recently that there are no surgeries currently available that can help him. Bottom-line is we need to get him home as soon as possible to get him the interventions he needs.

What you can do:
Tell everyone you know about our fundraiser. There will be a new shirt design coming out soon.
Pray that he stays healthy until we can get him home safely.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Eye Opening

I am taking two classes at Lipscomb this fall towards my Masters in Psychology. I was working on my Developmental Psych class this afternoon when I came across an interesting concept. There is a theory that nature and nurture go hand in hand, they cannot be separated because they each influence the other. The example given in my text was of an African boy that would never be able to discover his genetic gifts because he had no opportunity to develop them. His life is one of survival not pursuing interests or dreams. In the same text the statistics were given that the average Ethiopian earned $300 a year, the average American $33,000. 99+% of Americans can read only 40% of Ethiopians can. What would Micah and Hannah's life would have been like had they stayed there?
Would Micah know how to read? Would Hannah know how to swim? Would they ever have realized all the incredible things they are capable of? Most likely not Micah would be farming or working in his Bio Dad's store, Hannah would have been taking care of little brothers and sisters waiting to have babies to take care of. Opportunity is everything. I am so thankful that their Bio Dad chose to have them adopted. They are going to do amazing things all because he loved them enough to give them a better life than he will ever know.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Adoption Bug Fundraiser


www.adoptionbug.com/kneeshaw

One step closer

We are busy doing paperwork and getting the money together to bring home our baby boy. Although we can't share too much, we need to get him home soon so he can get treatment as soon as possible. We appreciate your prayers and help in spreading the word about our adoption. Our first adoption fundraiser ever started today. When you buy a t-shrit 50% of the price goes directly to Christian World Adoption for the adoption of our baby. we are very grateful for any help you can give us in telling your friends and family about our fundraiser. Right now we are almost finished with our home study paperwork and then it's on to the dossier. Micah and Hannah are super excited about bringing home a baby from Ethiopia, of course Kurt and I are too. Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Hope

This December was the hardest we've ever endured. We have missed Elijah each day since we lost him, however this December was particularly difficult. My due date was December 11th so we had thought we would be welcoming a new baby home this year. Unfortunately that did not happen and we have been living life without him. We cling to the memories we do have of him and the joy we have that he is with God, never having to experience the pain of this world. We all miss him terribly. Hannah recently wrote in a journal at school that if she had three wishes, she would wish for her baby brother back so she could help take care of him. Micah has been willing to talk a little more openly, telling me that he is very glad that I am still here and that he was so afraid I was going to die. I am thankful to God for leaving me a here a bit longer to be with my other two kids and my amazing husband. I am just so sad that Elijah had to go.

There is good news lurking on the horizon once more. In the middle of a very difficult Christmas we received an email from the adoption agency we used with Micah and Hannah's adoption, Christian World Adoption (CWA). We are working with them again to adopt a baby from Ethiopia. In the email they spoke of a six month old who had some special needs. Due to confidentiality rules I cannot share much other than we are moving forward with adopting him. After several weeks of prayer and thought we are beginning the paper chase for our fourth child. More updates to come including a fundraiser we'll be doing online that is super easy to participate in. We appreciate your prayers and support as we start working towards bringing home this special baby.

Here are pictures from our trip to California over Christmas.


Micah at the airport

Hannah and her cousin, Kaylin at Knott's Berry Farm

Hannah and Micah at Grandma and Grandpa's house

Hannah and me Christmas morning

Maggie (white) came with us on the plane, here she is with her best friend Scooter (black)